i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize