Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
