Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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