He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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