What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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