Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
