It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
