I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
