today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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