Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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