As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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