Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We don't watch enough power rangers
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
