I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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