I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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