Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
