he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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