Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
