they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
