Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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