weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize