is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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