Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you win again, gameday.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
