i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
