is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
