hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
