If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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