: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
