what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
