another moral hangover. fuck.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
