so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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