can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
