i already hear my dad disowning me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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