I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
