oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize