this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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