Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
