I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
