Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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