32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
