dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My balls are so social today.
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worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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