VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
