so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
