Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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