my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
