I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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