look no pants
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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