Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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