He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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