True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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