I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
