well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
