airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
