I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
