i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
