i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We are two peas in an std pod
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
