I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
