I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize