yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
